In case all of you were wondering what the hell the previous post was all about, I will tell you in this post.

My boy has left for Texas and the night before he left, we stayed up most of the night talking about our relationship, about the future, that sort of thing. Both of us know what's in store for the future. There is no doubts about that. We both know what has to be done and what could not be helped.

And he said those words to me...

I think I cried a river nile that night...

Im not good in expressing my feelings. He is. He has never had qualms about expressing his feelings for me. Im the opposite. I hold back and to him, just by hearing me say that I love him means more then a thousand words I could use to express my love for him.

Sigh.

Reality sank in yesterday. I was fine when he left, I was fine the day after. But come Monday, I was a mess. I didnt want to get out of bed, my pillow was drenched with tears and I ran out of tissue paper.

I actually cried while having a fag. I was just sitting outside at the back yard and I started crying.

Eventually I slap myself silly. I told myself to get a grip because this is not how Hardy would want me to be. I am better then this.

So here I am today, still a bit mellow but stronger then yesterday.

Love is such a silly game.

Who invented it anyway.

We're better off playing with gozilla or crocodiles or venomous spiders.